Secret Sam in my backpack / and nobody knows / it's my protection / it's my number one toy / it just takes a minute / to get it assembled / then watch out punks / I'll be cleaning out the ghettos! / Hey ! (4x) / Secret Sam with a laser-powered scope / I could pick off cops at 10 clicks or more / With a folding stock and a removable barrel / Secret Sam is better than bows and arrows /

It 's ...Secret Sam (4x)

Sitting in the classroom / taking an exam / teacher caught me cheating / and out comes Sam / One shot, point blank / now teacher's dead / looks like Secret Sam / saved the day /

(Chorus)